Chapter 4-4

Ralph Waldo Emerson, an early nineteenth century American essayist, poet, and leader of the Transcendentalist movement, said “Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” …

The problem with this philosophy is that unless you really make a change, nothing ever happens, we can convince ourselves to the end of the world, that we are changing that we are doing things ‘Different’ but the truth is we are still stuck in the rut we were in yesterday, last week, last month or even last year, Why? Because it’s comfortable that’s why. I sat in the kitchen of the rented flat, fully dressed in my bike leathers with my helmet on my lap, waiting for the door to knock, I didn’t know what to expect, all I had to go on was the note under my door late last night, it simply said ‘Tomorrow, 10am.’ It was typed and on plain paper. I looked at the clock for the millionth time, expecting somehow for the hands to go quicker, but they didn’t, it was 5 to 10. As I sat there all I could think about was my tomorrows, they would be better, after I had paid off these idiots I would make a change and start afresh, I put my helmet on the table and walked to the sink, I felt sick, physically sick, I wanted not to be doing this I wanted to be back down south with my friends working a 9 to 5 job with pensions and benefits, how did I get here? Then, there was a knock at the door, I walked to the door, I was visibly shaking and my hands were dripping with sweat almost slipping of the handle as I opened the door.

 I was confronted with a tall thin man wearing a suit, I obviously look confused. “Your supposed to ask me in.” he said curtly, I murmured a sorry and waved to him to come in and he walked in as though he owned the place and sat on the sofa, placing a briefcase on the coffee table he reached into his inside pocket and pulled out an envelope. I joined him at the table still wondering what happened next, “Don’t say much do you? Oh well never mind. This!” he said, waving the envelope “Read it and follow the instructions. Clear?” I nodded, “Good!” he said cheerfully, and he headed to the door, “Wait!” I said, in raised tone, “what if I need to contact someone?” he sighed and walked back over to me, “A newbie eh, thought so.” He said sarcastically. He placed a hand on my shoulder, “You read the instructions in the envelope and follow them exactly, if you can’t do that don’t bother coming back here.” He said menacingly “Kapish?” once again I nodded, he turned and left. I sat on the sofa and nervously opened the envelope, inside was £200 in cash and instructions, I was to deliver the briefcase unopened to the address on the paper and that was it, I knew it was too late, I had to do it. I pulled on my gloves and helmet and picked up the case, it was light, very light; this confused me as I was kind of expecting drugs, but if it was it was very light. I put the case in my top box and headed off down the motorway.

 It took me about 4 hours to get to the address in London, I parked the bike up and found the door, nervously knocking my fears started to raise there head again. The door opened and a woman in her mid 30s stood before me, “Delivery.” I said, holding the case up, “Come in.” she said most politely, I walked in and as I passed her she took the case off me, following me into the front room ,she placed the case on the table and opened it, “Coffee?” she said, I nodded. As she left the room I took a peak into the case, it was full of paperwork, receipts, account books and chq stubs. Maybe this was just a courier job after all, I started to relax. She came back in to the room carrying 2 cups, “Have you been paid?” she asked, “Yes, thank you.” I replied. We drank our coffee in science and I left. It was a funny trip back, I don’t really remember it, all I could think about was if I had thought badly of these people and all they were trying to do was help? Either way I now knew I could get through this and soon I could start again…