Chapter 4-8

Gandhi said - Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or lordliness. It consists in daring to do the right and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political or other. It consists in deeds, not in words. Well I was about to throw my manliness to rabid dogs.

I parked the bike about a mile from the casino in a backwater alleyway, I stood shaking from head to toe staring at the gun in my hand, adrenaline was pumping though my system, my heart was pounding and I was sweating like a pig as the realisation of what I had just done hit me. I moved the gun around looking at it, I'd never even held a gun before, was it loaded? I knew from films, they did something to the gun before firing it, but more than that, not a thing. I pointed it into the air and squeezed the trigger slowly, flinching and closing my eyes I pulled a little harder....nothing...was it empty? was it broken? At this point it didn't really matter, I stuffed the gun into the back of my waistband and pulled my shirt over it. As I walked towards the casino I actually started to calm down, I thought about what I was going to do walking through every moment, every word and every gesture in my mind. I walked into the main reception and up to the concierge, "Mr Brown, I'm here to see..." Before I could finish he pointed to the managers door in the corner. I stood for a while outside listening, I could make out 2 voices coming from within. Now was the time, I pulled the packet of notes I had taken from Martins bike and held it in my left hand, reaching behind me I pulled the gun out out with my right, I gently tapped on the door with the barrel if the gun.

As I expected one of the new bosses goons opened the door just a crack, I pushed the barrel of the gun against his chest at the same time forcing my foot into the door jam. "Back up!" I said quietly but forcefully, "hands where I can see them." I continued as he backed into the room with his hands slowly raising above his head. I knew he was dispensable so I spun round and pointed the gun at the new boss, he was a huge fat sweaty man, I walked behind him pushing the barrel of the gun to the back of his head. "Now" I said calmly "this is what is going to happen." I threw the bundle of money on the desk in front of him, "this is yours." I said "I recovered it along with several kilos of green from one of your runners." I paused to give him time to respond, "ok" he said, in a lot calmer tone than I would of liked. "I say recovered," I continued "because by now, if I hadn't of stopped him, he would have been half way across Europe with your money and weed, now I don't know about you but I think that deserves a reward, don't you?"

He picked up the money and threw it at his goon who caught it and started to look closely at it, after a few seconds he spoke, "Martin." He said. This confused me, how did he know that? The boss stood up and walked to the drinks cabinet, pouring himself a drink he started to talk, "2 things, Mr brown." He said sipping a big glass of whiskey, "1 we mark all our payment cash, I mean we don't want it back in the casino, it's dirty, and if it does turn up we need to know where it's come from and 2 the safety is still on your gun." As he said it his goon pulled out a gun and pointed it at me. My mind was racing, I needed a way out and it had to be good...

Chapter 4-7

It is said that a Leopard can not change its spots, and I’m glad about that, but man however, can change for all sorts of reasons, man can change for love, for faith, for his family or because something inside him snaps…

I’m not completely sure when I snapped, but I know it happened after I spoke to Martin, I was about half way back to the casino when he passed me on the motorway, I sped up and kept up with him and followed him into the service station. I pulled up along side and took off my helmet, “We need to talk.” I said as menacingly as I could, he looked panicked and tried to put his keys back into his bike to start it, I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards me, nearly sending him and the bike into a tumble, “I need answers.” A said raising my voice “and I need them now”. Martins head dropped and he nodded slowly climbing off his bike, I snatched the keys from his hand, “These” I said shaking them in front of him, “You can have back after we have talked.” We entered the café and sat down as we ordered some coffee’s he suddenly changed, leaning back in his chair he started to laugh, “I’ll give you your answers.” He said in a low tone, “But you have to know, it’s not because you want them it’s because you are a newcomer and I remember what its like, and I’m in charge of this little impromptu meeting not you.” He unzipped his jacket to just show me what looked like the top of a hand gun tucked under his arm. Instead of worry or panic or even just down right scared, I was angry, I have no idea where it came from, but I was. I leant forward across the table and he leant forward to meet me, “OOO big man.” I said sarcastically, “Let’s all play guns shall we? Threaten me again and we will really see who’s got the balls, I’ll rip your fucking head off and shove it up your arse, and I don’t need a gun, I’ll do it with my bare fucking hands, get it?” I rested back in the chair, basking in his shocked look, “Now maybe we can be civil?” I said calmly.

We talked for nearly 2 hours, he told me that I was working for a gang running drugs, this much I had worked out, however I didn’t know that the casino was a front for the money laundering and the gang, although big was still nothing compared to some of them, they had about 60 people on the payroll, not including those working legitimately in the casino. The last boss had been in place for about a year, and had slowly run it into the ground, he was only interested in his own profit, he had come to his unfortunate end after the new guy had usurped him and the new guy had big plans to make the gang bigger and richer than ever before. From what I could gather the new guy had learnt his lesson from all the other bosses and had surrounded himself with lots of bodyguards and very rarely met anyone. I didn’t tell him I was off to meet him; I was starting to learn to keep information close to my chest. He stood up, “Where are you going?” I asked. “To the toilet.” He replied, “Is that ok with you.” I nodded, after a few minutes I followed him into the toilets he was washing his face, in one smooth movement I grabbed his collar and smashed his head as hard as I could into the sink, his body dropped to the floor like a sack of coal, he struggled reaching for his gun, I kicked his hand as hard as I could hearing the bone snap I knew he wasn’t going for that again, kneeling on his chest I reached in and pulled out the gun. Still kneeling on him I put the barrel in his mouth, “Tell anyone what happened here.” I said sternly “and I’ll find you and kill you, kapish?” I knew from the fear in his eyes, he wasn’t going to be a problem. I stood up and put the gun in my pocket, as I left the toilets I called a café worker, “Excuse me” I said politely “I think someone’s had an accident in there, you might want to call an ambulance. They thanked me and ran in to the toilets.

As I stood at my bike I realised I still had Martin’s keys, I opened his top box, inside was £2,000 in cash about 4 kilos of weed and some ammo, I transferred the lot to my bike and headed back on the road, I avoided the motorway and used the back roads. As I travelled though the country lanes, I could not get rid of the rush from what had just happened, the only way out of this was to stamp my authority on the gang, to make sure they knew they needed me and then I could leave without any trouble, a plan was hatching but to kick it all off I needed to get to the casino and fast, just in case Martin beat me to it…

Chapter 4-6

Learning to tackle boredom is one of the best things we can do, there will always be times in life we will be bored, time where there is really nothing to do, time where we have to wait, whether we like it or not…

I approached the address with some trepidation, I was angry and scared, part of me just wanted to run away there and then, what did he mean? ‘Your ours now’… his voice just kept running around in my head. I knocked on the door and it was opened by a tall skinny man in his mid forties, he ushered me in and closed the door, he led me through to a lounge with a sofa and a TV, he pointed at the sofa, “Wait!” he said abruptly, I sat down and, to my surprise, he left. I sat on the sofa for about ten minutes, scared to move in case this was some kind of test, then I got up the nerve to have a look around. I was in a flat, 2 bedrooms a kitchen and a bathroom and apart from the sofa and the TV it was unfurnished. I found a kettle and some coffee in the kitchen and made myself a drink, wondering back to the sofa I tried the TV, it was dead. Hmmm all I could really do was wait, I laid on the sofa turning the last few months events over and over in my head, I still couldn’t quite see how I had got here, a few years ago I was working for Rolls-Royce, I had a girlfriend, mates, money and a life, now I was stuck here under threat of my very existence. I was tired and as the waiting continued I drifted into a restless sleep.

I woke to the sound of footsteps outside the door, I jumped up and tried to compose myself, it was dark, I had been asleep for 7 hours and now it was late, hearing a key in the lock increased my anxiety, the door flew open with a crash and a small fat man barged in. he was carrying several cases and was sweating, he kicked the door shut behind him. “Good, Good.” He said excitedly, “Your still here.” He dropped all but one of the cases on the floor and sat on the sofa. “Right” he said in a hurried tone, “All hell has broken loose and we need to get you back on the road.” He seemed quite pleasant. I sat beside him and introduced myself, but before I could finish he raised his had “bub bub bub” he said silencing me “I don’t want to know, from now on.” He continued, as he reached into his case, pulling out a raft of documents. “You are Mr A Brown.” I was confused, “Er, I don’t get it.” I said hesitantly. He put all the paperwork on the floor and headed to the kitchen, I followed, still not sure what was going on. “We have had a takeover” he said as he was preparing 2 cups of coffee, “That guy you spoke to this morning and his right had man, have er shall we say gone?” “Gone?” I repeated, “Yeah, Gone.” He said back as he made a chocking sound and drew his thumb across his neck. “We have someone new in charge now and he wants to do things differently.” I leant on the kitchen cupboards, still a little confused. “Who’s in charge now then?” I asked, “Ah, now you will meet him all in good time.” He said, “But for now let’s get you going.”

We sat on the sofa and he handed me a passport with my photo but in the name of Antony Brown, then he gave me documentation to a new bike that was apparently out front. He gave me the keys, “you are to head back to the casino in Edinburgh.” He said, “There you will be given your next job to do.” I took the keys and paperwork and stood up. “What happened to the old guy?” I asked. “Ooo” he said raising his eyebrows, “its questions like that, which will get you into trouble.” He stood up, “If you want my opinion keep you mouth shut and just watch and listen.” I got my leathers and helmet on and headed out front, hmm, I thought a ZZR1100, nice. I mounted the bike and headed back, not knowing what was coming next, I thought I was nearly at the end, it looked liked it was only just beginning…

Chapter 4-5

The thrill, it’s said, is in the chase, not the capture. In this case it was my capture I was trying to avoid and it was no thrill…

I was doing about 110mph when I first noticed the blue lights in my mirrors, “Shit” I shouted out loud, I slowed down and pulled over onto the hard shoulder, panic starting to rise in me, I was carrying about £70,000 worth of drugs in my bike panniers. The police car stopped behind me and the two officers got out, I started to make the kind of gestures to make them think I was removing my helmet, as they approached the back of the bike I dropped in to gear and pulled away as fast as I could, pulling the front wheel high into the air as I did, the bike landed with a crunch and I could see the policemen running back to their car in my mirror. I focused on getting away as I hit 130mph, dogging in and out of the cars all I could think about was dumping the bike before they called in the helicopter, I hit north London within a few minutes and sped down a narrow alleyway, I pulled over, my heart was racing 19 to the dozen as I detached the two panniers and pulled off my helmet and leathers. Grabbing the panniers I ran down one alleyway then another, not really taking note of where I was, just trying to put as much distance between me and the bike, I stopped exhausted and lent against a wall dropping the panniers to the floor, I was hot and sweating. I slid down the wall and rested for a while, I lit a smoke and thought about my situation, I was so close, I only had 3 more deliveries to go and I would be clear of these people, I started to asses what to do next, the panniers were a dead give away, I opened them and put everything in one of the briefcases that were in there, “there” I said “That’s a little less blatant.” I stood up and tried to smarten myself up, sweeping my hair back and mopping my brow with a tissue, “Now, just keep calm” I said to myself, “They didn’t see your face and the bike is registered to your old address in London.” I stepped out of the alleyway and onto main road, it was busy, that was good, I thought, I headed for the delivery address.

It took me about 2 hours to walk to the place and as I approached it dawned on me that I had no wheels now, how would I do the last 3 deliveries? I knocked on the door, I had never delivered here before and didn’t really know what to expect, the door was answered by the bosses gorilla, he smiled, as best he could, and gestured for me to go in. I walked into the front room of the house, it was thick with smoke and people were sitting around smoking, drinking and playing cards. One of the card players point to the kitchen and I walked in, the boss was standing there with a coffee in his hand, “Ah” he said cheerfully “My delivery boy.” I put the case in front of him and he opened it and took out the two big bags, he threw one to the guy playing cards and he started to open it and split it up. “We have a problem.” I said nervously, the boss turned away from me and topped up his coffee from the pot, “I know.” He said. How could he know? I was less nervous now and more confused. He smiled at me and opened one of the kitchen cupboards to reveal a police radio scanner. “They have lost you!” he declared “Well done, its not often a new boy gets away, I’m impressed.” I could not quite believe they were listening the whole time, “Don’t worry.” I said, “The bike is registered to my old address still.” He laughed and shook his head, “Oh no!” he said knowingly “Your bike is registered as scrap, that’s probably why they pulled you.” “What?” I stuttered “Yes.” He said still laughing “We did it as a precaution.” Suddenly I was angry, they put me in this situation, and they risked me when I was helping. “Bastard!” I shouted as I lunged at him ready to rip his head off but was held back by his gorilla who had slipped up behind me.

He spun me round and punched my in the stomach and threw me onto a chair, holding me down the boss leaned over me, “Now” he said menacingly “You did well, but don’t let it go to your head, you still have 3 more jobs to go.” He handed me a piece of paper. “Go to this address and wait, your ours now, but play your cards right and this could all work out for the best for both of us, we get a good rider and you don’t die in an unfortunate accident. Get me?” I nodded and left, I wasn’t scared anymore I was bloody angry, once again it was time to wait…

Chapter 4-4

Ralph Waldo Emerson, an early nineteenth century American essayist, poet, and leader of the Transcendentalist movement, said “Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” …

The problem with this philosophy is that unless you really make a change, nothing ever happens, we can convince ourselves to the end of the world, that we are changing that we are doing things ‘Different’ but the truth is we are still stuck in the rut we were in yesterday, last week, last month or even last year, Why? Because it’s comfortable that’s why. I sat in the kitchen of the rented flat, fully dressed in my bike leathers with my helmet on my lap, waiting for the door to knock, I didn’t know what to expect, all I had to go on was the note under my door late last night, it simply said ‘Tomorrow, 10am.’ It was typed and on plain paper. I looked at the clock for the millionth time, expecting somehow for the hands to go quicker, but they didn’t, it was 5 to 10. As I sat there all I could think about was my tomorrows, they would be better, after I had paid off these idiots I would make a change and start afresh, I put my helmet on the table and walked to the sink, I felt sick, physically sick, I wanted not to be doing this I wanted to be back down south with my friends working a 9 to 5 job with pensions and benefits, how did I get here? Then, there was a knock at the door, I walked to the door, I was visibly shaking and my hands were dripping with sweat almost slipping of the handle as I opened the door.

 I was confronted with a tall thin man wearing a suit, I obviously look confused. “Your supposed to ask me in.” he said curtly, I murmured a sorry and waved to him to come in and he walked in as though he owned the place and sat on the sofa, placing a briefcase on the coffee table he reached into his inside pocket and pulled out an envelope. I joined him at the table still wondering what happened next, “Don’t say much do you? Oh well never mind. This!” he said, waving the envelope “Read it and follow the instructions. Clear?” I nodded, “Good!” he said cheerfully, and he headed to the door, “Wait!” I said, in raised tone, “what if I need to contact someone?” he sighed and walked back over to me, “A newbie eh, thought so.” He said sarcastically. He placed a hand on my shoulder, “You read the instructions in the envelope and follow them exactly, if you can’t do that don’t bother coming back here.” He said menacingly “Kapish?” once again I nodded, he turned and left. I sat on the sofa and nervously opened the envelope, inside was £200 in cash and instructions, I was to deliver the briefcase unopened to the address on the paper and that was it, I knew it was too late, I had to do it. I pulled on my gloves and helmet and picked up the case, it was light, very light; this confused me as I was kind of expecting drugs, but if it was it was very light. I put the case in my top box and headed off down the motorway.

 It took me about 4 hours to get to the address in London, I parked the bike up and found the door, nervously knocking my fears started to raise there head again. The door opened and a woman in her mid 30s stood before me, “Delivery.” I said, holding the case up, “Come in.” she said most politely, I walked in and as I passed her she took the case off me, following me into the front room ,she placed the case on the table and opened it, “Coffee?” she said, I nodded. As she left the room I took a peak into the case, it was full of paperwork, receipts, account books and chq stubs. Maybe this was just a courier job after all, I started to relax. She came back in to the room carrying 2 cups, “Have you been paid?” she asked, “Yes, thank you.” I replied. We drank our coffee in science and I left. It was a funny trip back, I don’t really remember it, all I could think about was if I had thought badly of these people and all they were trying to do was help? Either way I now knew I could get through this and soon I could start again…

Chapter 4-3

Have you ever heard of Harry Houdini? Well he wasn't like today's magicians who are only interested in television ratings. He was an artist. He could make an elephant disappear in the middle of a theatre filled with people, and do you know how he did that? Misdirection. – Swordfish (2001)

I sat quietly in the chair waiting for the next move as the managers ape walked over and stood beside me, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a flick knife and opened it by my ear, I jumped in the chair and he sniggered. The light bounced off the blade as he waved it in front of my face, you could see the sharpness of the blade, then without warning, he flicked it over and caught the blade still right in front of my face and passed it, handle first, to the manager. The manger took it, “Do you like cheese?” he said as he started to cut the tape on the package I had delivered, the question confused me, “I like cheese.” He continued, I just nodded nervously as the penny dropped, I had been carrying cannabis, I wasn’t completely up on the subject, but one of my friends smoked it and he used to buy a type they called cheese. I watched intently as he continued to unwrap the package, as he peeled away the layers I started to get more and more nervous, sweat was running down my face and my heart was pounding 19 to the dozen. Slowly he removed the last layer of cling film to expose a block of cheese, it looked like Stilton, and it definitely smelt like it. The manager got up and poured himself a large glass of port, sat down, and with the knife cut a large chunk off the block. My nervousness changed to confusion, I just sat there not quite knowing what to say as I watched him sip his drink and eat his cheese. After a few minutes he dusted himself off and leaned forward, “Now” he said, almost in a friendly tone, “Martin tells me you can handle 2 wheels.” I shrugged, the sweating returning, he continued, “and you can be trusted, otherwise I wouldn’t be enjoying this rather nice Stilton, so with that in mind, we have a proposition for you.” I watched as his ape took the knife and wiped it clean, my eyes darting to his just for a moment to answer “Go on.” I said.

He stood up and walked over to the drinks and poured me a whisky and gave it to me, he then rested back in his chair and gestured to his ape, he whispered something in his ear and the ape nodded and left the room. “I’ll come straight to the point.” He said “You owe us a considerable amount of money.” I nodded, there was nothing else I could do, and there was no point in arguing in this situation. “And” he continued “we could find a way of, shall me say, working the debt off.” He had my attention; as far as I was concerned I had no idea how I was going to pay them back anyway so I might as well listen. “Carry on.” I said, the shake in my voice still blatantly obvious. He got up and lent on the desk in front of me, “You deliver some packages, just like you did here.” He said, “And after a few weeks we will write off what you owe, oh and we will throw in some spending cash along the way.” I took a sip of my drink to try and gain some composure, “How many weeks?” was the only question that came to mind, I didn’t want to be tied to these people for ever. He laughed and sat back down, opening the file they had on me, he pondered and started to bash out some figures on his desk calculator. “You know” he said in a surprised voice, “I think I’m going to like you, you deliver 30 packages and we will give you £100 for each one and after the 30th your debt to us will be paid.” I lent forward and put my glass on his desk, my mind was racing trying to make a decision, “Can I think about it?” I asked. “Oh yes!” he replied, turning sinister “You have 30 seconds.” I grabbed the glass back and took another drink trying desperately to look and keep calm, but failing miserably. He looked at his watch, “TICK TOCK.” He said. I was stuck; “Ok” I said “I’ll do it.” He smiled and stood up offering his hand to shake, I shook his hand and stood up, it was only then I noticed how short he was, no wonder he needed the ape by his side I thought. “Go home.” He said “we will be in touch.”….

Chapter 4-2

Albert Einstein once said “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”  I was running into the most stupid thing I had done so far, and I couldn’t see it….

As the miles disappeared all I could think about was money, getting it and as quickly as I could, I had to get this monkey off my back and fast. I was doing abut 110 mph when I realised that after 250 miles my fuel would be getting low, ah, time for a pit stop I thought as I passed the 1 mile sign for the services, at the 300 yard mark I dropped to 90 and moved into the middle lane, I found a gap between two lorries and slipped in between them onto the slip road and gently eased on my brakes to slow for the rather nasty bend I knew was approaching, a bike ahead of me was doing the same thing, the road was greasy from the light rain that had passed through and I was aware of the dangers, suddenly, from nowhere a car darted across all three lanes, across the reservation and into the slip road not more then 10 feet in front of me. I couldn’t brake any harder or I would loose control, but I was rapidly heading for his back end and a crash at this speed would not be nice, I checked my blind spot and pulled hard on the throttle, dropping down two gears I pulled the bike to one side as the front wheel left the ground and I skilfully threaded the bike, on its back wheel, past the idiot of a car driver, the front wheel hit the ground with a thud, it then dawned on me I was going to fast for the corner. I had no choice but to take it at speed, and as the bike lent into the corner I could feel the tarmac rubbing against my leg, it took all my strength to pull the bike back upright and slam the brakes on to gain some control and posture, but, I did it, I could not quite believe it but I did, I continued slowly to the bike parking area and pulled up along side the bike that was ahead of me a little earlier.

 “MAN!!!” he shouted “That was awesome, where did you learn to ride like that?”  He walked over to me with his hand out to shake mine, “I’m Martin.” He said, I shook his hand and introduced myself, it was then I recognised him, he was the guy in the lobby of he casino, “Seriously, though dude” he continued, “Those are some mad skills.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was just luck so I shrugged and tried to look cool about it. “Didn’t I see you earlier this morning, in the casino lobby?” I asked gingerly, he nodded lighting up a smoke; I took the offer of a smoke and lit up with him. “Yeah,” he replied as he took drag of his smoke “I’m a courier for them, and we could use someone like you.” I shook my head “not going to happen” I replied, “Let’s just say, I owe them a few quid.” Martin laughed and threw his smoke of the floor, he put his arm around my shoulders, “So did I.” he guided me into the services, “Let me buy you a coffee.” He said, “And I will tell you how it works.”

I watched as martin pulled away on his bike, the words he had just said ringing in my ears, if I courier for them they would write off my debt, just like they did for him and pay me for the job, it sounded to good to be true, but did I really have any choice. I opened my top box on the back of the bike and looked at the small brown package Martin had given me to deliver, then I opened my wallet and looked at the £200 he had given me to do it. I slammed the box shut and mounted my bike, I could do this, just for a few weeks, get back on my feet then get a proper job, no worries, I thought. Martin had made me memorise the address and as I knew London well I was there in no time, it was the sister casino in London, I parked and entered the main lobby; I walked up to the reception, “err, I have a delivery for Mr Green?” I asked nervously, the man behind the desk pointed at a door in the corner, I nodded and walked over to the door and gently knocked, “Enter” came the voice from within, the strange thing is I recognised it; I walked in to see the manager of the Casino from Edinburgh and his ape standing behind the desk, I had been set up. His trained gorilla took the parcel from me and ushered me into the chair. What was coming next I could only guess….