Chapter 3-10

The dawning of realisation is often blurred by our own selfish ambition and drive for OUR life to go OUR way, the me, me, me in all of us cries out for recognition of what we do, not for selfless reasons but for that one point where someone acknowledges our efforts and our existence, no matter how futile that might be… dam fate, dam it to hell…

I stood in front of the cash machine at the bank, my card hovering over the slot, should I do this? I walked away from the machine for the forth time and sat on a nearby wall, I really could not understand how I had got to this point, I had lost everything in a week, slowly but surely my cash had dwindled to nothing, but I had money in the bank just sitting there, another few hundred wouldn’t matter, would it? I sat thinking about everything that had happened, about that fantastic night with Olivia, I would have to get my money and status back if I was going to stand any chance of winning her back, after I didn’t turn up on our date. That night, time just ran away with me, I had an hour to go, and then, Bang! It was 3 hours later; by the time I had finished the hand and got to the bar she had gone. I had left her messages with the front desk, but no reply came, she had probably heard about me loosing all my money, I had to show her I was a winner! I marched up to the cash machine and withdrew £1,000; it was all I could take out each day from the machine, I stuffed it in my pocket and headed back to the hotel, I had been asked to leave the suite too, this was my last day and unless I could win, I was out and skint. I pulled on my tuxedo and got the lift down to the casino.

As I approach the HRC the doorman stood in front of me, “Good afternoon sir.” He said politely, “Could I see you membership card?” I stopped, a little confused, never before had this been asked. I handed him the card indigently, he examined it like it was a forgery and muttered to himself, “Is there a problem?” I said impatiently. He lent forward a looked me square in the eyes, “Just wait there please sir.” He said in a low foreboding tone. He disappeared out one of the back doors, leaving me standing there like a Muppet, didn’t they know I was the big winner, this was not on. After a few minutes he returned with the manager of the casino, “Ah Sir,!” the manager said in a cheerful tone, “I’m sorry to have to tell you, but there is a minimum £5,000 buy in tonight, and we are just making sure all our customers are aware of that.” He stood there grinning ear to ear. I was devastated, I grabbed the wad of cash from my pocket, “I have £1,000.” I said, my tones getting ever more desperate, “And that’s all I could get out of the machine, I have money I just can’t get to it.” I waved the receipt from the cash machine in front of his face, desperately pointing at the available balance. I had to get in; they had to give me a chance of winning again. The manager took the receipt of me and looked at the balance, a big grin spread slowly across his face, “Why didn’t Sir say so.” He said gleefully, “We would be happy to extend you a line of credit.” He whispered in the doorman’s ear and he stepped to one side to gesture me in. That was more like it, I thought, a bit of respect.

As I entered the table room the manager was already talking to the dealer, the dealer nodded and smiled at me, pushing a pile of £20,000 chips in front of me, within minutes a young girl had brought me a drink and a cigar, I rested back in the chair, lit my cigar and sipped my drink, while I waited for the next hand to start. So it wasn’t over, I was still in the game and this time I was going to win, I wasn’t going to walk away from this table until I had won back every penny I had lost. As the cards hit the green felt in front of me I felt a sense of control again, once more I was back where I should be. I lifted up my first cards of the evening, it was 2 Aces, oh yes this was just getting better and better, I thought, and as the round of betting started I could feel my heart racing and the palms of my hands started to sweat, what was wrong with me? I wasn’t like this last time; I was calm and laid back, at this rate everyone will know what hand I have. I started to panic but then it dawned on me, last time I was playing with winnings, this time it was my own money, this wasn’t fear it was excitement, and I was loving it……