"NO NO NO" I replied, my tone getting louder and harsher as I turned my back on Chad and Morris. Chad sighed a deep sigh and turned to Morris, "I give up!" He said, Morris wheeled himself towards me as I stood on the balcony, he placed his hand on my arm and took a deep breath. "I know why" he said thoughtfully, I turned to look at him "you know nothing" I replied spitefully "really?" was his return "I know you don't want to do this because it will finalize the whole ordeal for you and you think it will mean we will all forget Jane." The anger came from nowhere as I span round and put a hand on each arm of his wheel chair, pinning him in, "Don't ever say that!" I screamed at him. I stormed past both of them and out of the room, as I left I heard Morris say to Chad "just leave him." I walked to the beach and sat on the rocks. The real problem here was they were both right, I just didn't want to admit it, you see I was overdue to go to a lawyer and finalize the estate that Jane had left, Chad, at quite some expense, had moved all the files to a local lawyer in Scotland and had made an appointment for me, actually he had made several and I had refused to go to all of them. I sat there for at least an hour turning everything over in my mind, I knew I had to do it and maybe now was the time, I just always got so angry whenever I thought or talked about it, maybe seeing the lawyer would help maybe I could finally move on if I did, it was worth a try. I saw Chad and Morris in the distance walking towards me, I jumped up and walked to meet them, I tried to smile and keep my temper as I spoke. "OK" I said as calmly as I could, "we will go." Chad smiled "I'll get the car" he said and walked off leaving me to push Morris to the car park.
We got to the lawyer just in time for my appointment, as I entered the office I started shaking and I could feel my anger raise once again, I really didn't want to do this but I had no choice, Chad and Morris waited in the reception as I went in to the lawyers office. "Hello," he said "do take a seat" as he shut the door behind me, in a flash for some unexplainable reason I was back in my old headmasters office, the same dread, the same fear swept over me, then the penny dropped, it was the same desk. I tried to reason with myself but could only see those old school days in my mind, he sat down and opened a huge file with Jane's name on it. After putting on his glasses and reading a few pages he looked up at me and began to speak. "It seems, Mr Jones" he started "you are to get everything Jane had, and although this must be a very hard time for you, I have to tell you it is not an inconsiderable amount." I was stunned, this can't be right, Jane and I were skint, yes we saved but we didn't earn that much and we knew what was in each others accounts. He then went on to explain that Jane's job paid death benefits and Jane had been paying for life cover too, when it was all added up Jane had left me £250,000.00. I was speechless, I just sat staring at the cheque, I could not get over it. Then a sense of guilt started to take over, I wasn't going to let this money replace her, it couldn't, it wouldn't.
I left with Chad and Morris in complete silence and headed back to the hotel, Morris was the first to speak. "well?" was all he said, I put my hand in my pocket and threw the cheque at him and once again stormed out of the room, this hadn't helped it had made it worse, I needed time to think..........
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